You Know You are a Mom When……

I found these hilarious facts from Lisajobaker website It actually had me in tears of laughter because we as moms can relate to if not all 98 percent of these.

  1. You are pretty much embarrassment-proof.
  2. A trip to the grocery store alone is your idea of a spontaneous getaway.
  3. You buy enough milk on a weekly basis to sponsor an entire dairy farm.
  4. When you put on make up the kids get excited that you’re all going out.
  5. If you don’t change the toilet paper roll, it doesn’t get changed.
  6. You can’t remember what the words “personal space” mean.
  7. You use photo shop for removing boogers more than for removing blemishes.
  8. You wash the same load of laundry at least twice before you remember to empty it.
  9. You know the names of all of the teenage mutant ninja turtles.
  10. You consider Goldfish crackers a food group.
  11. You can’t remember a time when you didn’t drive a minivan.
  12. Lugging the baby carrier is your idea of a workout.
  13. You listen to your kid’s favorite tune’s even when you’re driving by yourself.
  14. You have a love-hate relationship with Dora the Explorer.
  15. You can’t remember the last time you ate a meal while it was still hot.
  16. You can cry in a Huggies commercial.
  17. You are an expert at cutting gum out of hair.
  18. You’ve had in depth conversations about the pros and cons of a Spiderman vs Transformers backpack.
  19. You wish there was drive through everything.
  20. You can do 18 things all at the same time.
  21. You consider going to the bathroom by yourself the height of luxury.
  22. You can change a diaper in the pitch dark.
  23. You know how badly stepping on a piece of Lego can hurt.
  24. A business trip by yourself feels like a vacation.
  25. You forget the names of your children.
  26. You think wrestling alligators would be easier than getting kids in bed on time.
  27. Your kids ask you what the iron is for.
  28. You save lives on a daily basis.
  29. You take it personally when strangers don’t wave back to your baby. (THIS IS ME! SO WAVE BACK! LOL)
  30. You spend more on carpet cleaning products than make up.
  31. You actually own a product called Kid’s and Pet’s Stain and Odor Remover.
  32. Your husband tells you it isn’t worth buying anything nice until the kids move out to college.
  33. You cry with happiness when one of your children consents to eating broccoli.
  34. You tell yourself pizza has all the food groups.
  35. Some days you just want to quit motherhood.
  36. You haven’t slept in a decade.
  37. You have clothes in every size under the sun.
  38. You consider Outback Steakhouse fine dining.
  39. You obsess over whether or not you remembered to sign that permission slip.
  40. Your love is so ferocious it scares you sometimes.
  41. There is often an extra tiny person sleeping in your bed.
  42. Coffee is one of your love languages.
  43. You will never ever be able to sort, process or print all the photos you take.
  44. You didn’t know you were capable of this kind of courage.
  45. You would rather have someone help you with the laundry than anything else in the world.
  46. You know the names and super powers of every, single Marvel character ever created.
  47. You loathe happy meal toys.
  48. Your kisses have magical, healing properties.
  49. You feel naked if you leave the house without Cheerios.
  50. You wish they had GPS for kids.
  51. You aren’t afraid of anything.
  52. You’re afraid of everything.
  53. You have sung the same song a trillion times.
  54. You have several story books memorized.
  55. You have an entire macaroni art collection and couldn’t be prouder of it.
  56. You cook as much with the play kitchen as the real one.
  57. The curl at the nape of your baby’s neck can leave you undone.
  58. Your Instagram stream reads like a love letter to your children.
  59. Your “desk” is surrounded by a constant stream of my little ponies, Darth Vadar and candy wrappers.
  60. Your idea of luxury is when someone else unloads the dishwasher.
  61. You daydream about a land where women go to the bathroom alone and don’t have to narrate what they’re doing in there.
  62. You have made s’more on a campfire and on the kitchen stove.
  63. You’ve convinced your kids that vacuuming is a “game.”
  64. Some days watching them is like seeing your heart do somersaults in front of your very eyes.
  65. You couldn’t watch the Olympics without wondering if that might be your kids one day.
  66. You didn’t know T-Ball could be more exciting than the World Series.
  67. Super glue is your best friend.
  68. Cereal is a breakfast, lunch, and dinner kind of food at your house.
  69. About the last thing sofas are for is sitting on.
  70. Your computer keyboard has permanent marker scribbled on it.
  71. You loathe having to match socks.
  72. Some days you’re tempted to take off running after the ice cream truck.
  73. You think Chuck E Cheese is the unhappiest place on earth.
  74. Cutting a tiny person’s finger nails terrifies you.
  75. You worry that Flintstones vitamins are the only thing standing between your kids and scurvy.
  76. You’ve Googled the phrase, “how to get Desitin out of the carpet.”
  77. You constantly get calls from the neighbor that you’ve left the car door open. Again.
  78. You carry spare pacifiers in your purse.
  79. By “purse” you actually mean “diaper bag.”
  80. Your kids use your smart phone more than you do.
  81. You know the precise shape sandwiches should be cut up into.
  82. You are more excited to introduce your boys to one of your favorite movie than when you watched it the first time yourself.
  83. You and your daughter laugh and bond over popcorn and Dora the Explorer
  84. You think you can cut hair.
  85. You discover you can’t actually cut hair.
  86. You take a camera to photograph and then scrapbook someone else cutting your kid’s hair.
  87. Having kids has taught you how to love and be loved like nothing else on earth.
  88. You do more multitasking in an average day than any CEO.
  89. You’ve clocked hundreds of miles of carpooling.
  90. Your body is soft in all the right places and perfect for comforting and cuddling.
  91. You know that you are more than your swimsuit.
  92. You pray. About everything. Because you’ve learned you can hardly control anything.
  93. There is a fierce tiger living inside of you.
  94. Your job description could fill an entire book.
  95. Each day you get to unwrap more of the unexpected gifts of the ordinary.
  96. You are deeply loved.
  97. You love deeper than today and further than tomorrow.

3 thoughts on “You Know You are a Mom When……

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